UPDATE: Fuck!
It's been one week since the big fight with my soon-to-be-ex-partner. So far I was able to re-evaluate a lot of the things I thought I wanted and prioritized things I really wanted. I'm done with this chapter of my life. My family has been keeping me in a state of limbo for years and I cope by hiding away and constantly seeking out easy to access sources of joy. Keeping in my small shell made me feel smaller and worthless. But how the fuck do I go about this? I REALLYYYYYYYYYYY like her. I just don't want to drag her down with me or hurt her. I can't force someone who doesn't want to be with me anymore to give me another chance. To be fair she waited for so long already I totally understand. But it's sOOOOOOOOOO frustrating. There's no one else I'd rather be with right now and I miss her.
But she needs time, space, and a whole lot of things that I haven't been giving. My biggest regret will always be that I couldn't close the gap. I'm not going to wait any more. My hair is sorted out, my work is sorted out, my boxes are sorted out. I applied to a job in Spain. Lead animator. Fuck it. We ball. They either want me or they don't I don't give a flying fuck anymore. I'm moving out. Oh also here's some pictures of the packing I've done so far, eitherway I'm gone.
Cookie --->